Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Work has been nuts, and is not stopping any time soon. I even get to go to Chicago in a couple of weeks for intense training. I am actually very excited to go, even though I know it is going to be cold. I can't wait to get a chill in me again...being originally from New York and lived there for about 28 years, I actually miss freezing every once in a while. Not that I want it all the time anymore...that's one of the reasons I moved to Florida, but the week of cold and hopefully some snow is something that I am looking forward to. I've also never been off the East Coast in my life, so I am a bit excited to go to a whole new state and will be taking my camera. I know I won't be able to go sight-seeing and stuff, but I will take as many pics as I can to remember my time there.
Let's see, work has been crazy, as I've said, but it's a good crazy...I mean, I am working non-stop, which means the days are flying by. But I also feel that I am not getting what I need to do, done. I hate that. I know I will have everything I need done when I need to, but I wish I could have all my ducks in a row and have everything flowing right. That never happens, so I don't know why I just don't get used to the fact! LOL!!! And the end of the month is almost here...which means more fun times!
But I do have to admit, Jeff has been an absolute angel to me, each weekend I have been waking up early and crafting, relaxing, watching mindless tv...and he has been so supportive. I Thank God everyday for having such a loving husband to share my life with. Yes, we do have our little fights...heck, we've been together for almost 25 years! I am definitely not perfect at all, damn close, but not perfect!!! But I couldn't ask for anyone better to spend my life with. We get along so well, and know each other so well. The best thing is...we are absolute Best Friends, and I think that is so important in any relationship. We can tell each other anything, even if we think the other will get mad because of it. I think all relationships should be like that.
Even friendships. I hope that my friends can feel that if they have a bad feeling, or a problem with me, that they can talk to me, scream at me...whatever they need to do, and feel that they can do it.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
This Valentine Candy Box that is rather easy to make
and you can even mail them out to your friends.
Here are the directions, and I hope you enjoy making these...
you won't stop at one!
The items that you will need:
One - 4 7/8" x 4 7/8" piece of cardstock, One - 8 1/2" x 3 1/4" piece of cardstock,
a stylus or something to be able to score your cardstock, a ruler,
a big brad for the closure,
some embellishments for the outside of the box and some candy to put inside.
First, take your 4 7/8" x 4 7/8" piece of cardstock and score with your stylus at 15/16" at each side.
Now take your ruler and at each corner,
from the score line diagonally to the corner edge of the cardstock, score.
It will look like this:
Now take the 8 1/2" x 3 1/4" cardstock:
and make score lines at 1/2", 3 1/2", 4 1/2" and 7 1/2" from one side to the next.
Now fold at all of the score lines.
The larger end flap is the bottom...
Now take your first piece of cardstock and fold two of the edges in,
and blue the top and bottom as below.
Now place this into the second piece of cardstock while centering
and making sure that the score (fold) lines line up.
Remember, the flap that is shorter is the top.
Now you have to glue the parts shown below.
Like I have done here:
Now fold in and adhere.
Now when you pop it up, it makes a box.
See? Told you it was easy!
Ok, now on to the closure...
Take a needle tool to punch a hole in the middle of the bottom like this:
Then pop your brad through and close it in.
Now take the top and place the flap under the top of the brad.
Now that the box is made, we can embellish it.
This is what I did, I just cut a piece of patterned paper to fit the top,
stamped a little saying and had a glittery sticker to place in the corner.
I hope you try making these, they really are easy and fun.
I'd love to know if you create any.
Enjoy and have a wonderful Valentine's Day!
Sunday, January 10, 2010
From as early as I can remember, we didn't have a very loving relationship. I guess that's where I get being a very stand-offish kind of person when it comes to showing affection to others. Which I wish would change, but now that I am almost 42 years of age, I doubt that it will. I am very uncomfortable in any kind of situation where any form of hugging another person may be inevitable. It's actually kind of sad when another wants to just hug for a holiday or put their arm around me to show any kind of closeness...I shudder when the opportunity arises. But that is me and I have lived with it for so long, it will not change...unfortunately. But I do try to express how I feel about people close to me in other ways and I hope that they know that I am trying to show them that I care about them in my way.
I remember a bunch of little memories of my mom. Some good, some bad. One memory I have when I was very little, before my brother (we are 7 years apart) came along, is my mom in the living room of my grandma and grandpa’s apartment on Ocean Avenue and Glenwood Road, and me telling my mother that I know that she doesn’t love me while running into the kitchen. My mom came in after me and told me that she did, and wiped my tears away. She let me know what a good girl I was and that she was sorry that she was not home all the time. What felt like within minutes, the doorbell rang, he friends walked in, and she got her coat on and left, leaving me behind with my grandparents. I know that I can’t fault her for it, she was young when she had me…21, so she needed to have a social life, but I can only account for the way I felt, and at age 7, you really don’t understand other people’s feelings.
When I look back on a lot of it, I know that she was probably trying to do her best with what she had. She was a single mom all of my life. She never got married, never had a permanent love in her life, but she would also tell me that she wanted it that way. So I am not sure if she ever searched for it, or just shunned it away. My father, my brothers father and most men that I knew as 'uncles' in my life, were married to other women. I know my mother knew that before she decided to spend time with them, so I assume that she wanted to be with a man that already had a life outside of my mother's life. She would tell me that she liked being on her own. She liked that her 'boyfriends' would only come over when they could, which was not often, and then leave her to herself to do whatever she wanted. She didn't have to answer to anyone, but she also had no one to talk to.
From as early as I can remember, she has had one addiction or another which in turn made her very moody. Either she was on cloud nine, as happy as anyone can be which made her a joy to be around, or she would be the meanest, nastiest person that you couldn't wait to get away from.
I can't say that I had the worst childhood, because where we lived in Canarsie, Brooklyn, I had a lot of close friends that I am still in touch with now that I would hang out with from the time I got home from school until I had to go to bed. I also had and still do have a love of music that would take me away from everything that was going on around me. She did always keep a roof over my head, even if we moved more than I would have liked to, we always had food on the table, dishes that I ask Jeff to make me now just to remind me of those days, and I have a sense of independency from various things she would teach me, like how to change a flat tire, check the fluids in my car, change a washer in a faucet, and other things that I can thank her for showing me.
I guess I can bitch and moan if I want for all the things that were bad, I can pitch a fit for various times that she was not there for me or did things that a mom shouldn’t do, but there is nothing I can do about it now except to learn and grow from it. Although I do hate the saying, it seems a bit appropriate…what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Either you can take what is dealt you in life and rise above, or you can give in to it and become what you are trying to avoid.
I do have to say that now that I am older and have grown to understand how life kind of works, because I don’t think you can ever have that down…I am grateful that my mom did try her best although I may not have agreed with most of the things she had done in her life, it is because of all things that I am who I am now. So there has to be some kind of thankfulness on my part, right? No one is perfect, and unless you can walk on water, there are things that you have done in your life that you either regret or wish you had done differently…I will just hold on to the fact that even though my mom may have never apologized for certain things that she had put me through, I am sure she never wanted them to happen and did regret or want to do to them over. I may never know the real answer until I see her again beyond this life, but for now that is how I will always think, it makes me feel better that way and that’s all I can do.
Even though we weren't close, even though we may have never seen eye to eye...You were still and always will be my mom. One year ago you hopefully found all the love, peace and happiness that I know you were always searching for.
Rest in Peace Forever Mom.